Posted by: ableanna | October 16, 2009

slow down, speed up

It’s getting colder, and yesterday as I walked to the train station, carrying you like I always do, I was admiring your little face cupped in the blue wool hat and how your little nose was perfectly reddened against the chill in the air. You had a mischievious and fun-loving sparkle in your eye and every time I laughed, you would laugh and say “Muuummmy, Sttaaaawwwwwwp” Not that I was doing anything but laugh, and my laughter seemed to trigger your laughter, which would only make me laugh harder. It was this moment, of many moments these days, that I find myself trying to store in my memory, so that I can bring them back at a later date (like when you’re 18). Clinging on to, replaying it incessantly, like that if I repeat it enough over and over it will be etched in all my synapses, unable to work without replaying it first.

I don’t know how this runs with other mothers, but its moments like these were I find myself up at 5 a.m. snivelling and remembering, feeling nostalgic and wistful and frankly, amazed that I am privy to such moments of inexplicably profound beauty and love. And I just want the world to slow down.



  1. *Sniff* – you just wrote what I think on a daily – if not hourly basis.

  2. You know, I’m starting to realize just how much a being a father helps me rediscover the seasons all over again. I’ve been living these memories for the first time, and hope I never forget them.

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