Posted by: ableanna | August 13, 2009

Howe about that Island

So last post:… a little on the heavy side. I never did receive my “You Are The Most Amazing Person That We Have Failed To Recognize” trophy either!

I don’t regret the post. I really did have a bad month. I really did need to take a step back and re-assess priorities in terms of what I expected of myself versus what I really needed from myself. But I believe I have maxxed out the time here spent on the subject.

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We’re going to the cottage! Tomorrow! Night! All of us are excited to get out of the city and away from our normal routine. Anticipating: morning wake-up dips in the lake followed by a fantastic percolated cup of cottage coffee; playing in the tall grass, bales of hay, stepping stones and lake with ella; casting out the fishing rod without really trying to catch anything; reading murder mysteries on the deck; 4 p.m. gin soaked limes; the bonfire and the neverending fireside not-so-scary story; bocce tournaments; crazy eights champions; bbq steaks and burgers and more meat; star-gazing; the hammock; quiet breeze; watching the party boat pass by; and and and and… I only wish we were able to stay longer.

E is SO excited. She claims she remembers going which could be possible, but hard to believe, since the last time we went she looked like this:

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You know what’s also hard to believe? Is that three years ago are lives were far less digital. We had a small camera that we rarely took out with us, since I still relied heavily on taking images with film. I have spent a better part of tonight going through images/tiny 20 second movies saved on CD’s from my old computer.

But its the baby movies. Looking back through those movies, it actually feels like a lifetime ago that having a baby in my life was so new. Ella just always has been. Almost as though she always existed without having to always exist. I can remember my life without her, almost vividly, but somehow it doesn’t connect. Looking at these movies, I am more shocked at coming to a more clear memory of myself: so tired, so madly in love with her and yet so frightened of my new life and what that might mean and what it did mean. And now here we are, only three years into it, full-fledged parents.

Dah! I doubt I am making very little sense at this time of night – our road trip msic compilation is almost complete and I still have packing and a full days work – so this post abruptly ends here: The End.

Have a lovely weekend…

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