Posted by: ableanna | August 1, 2009

Oh day, why can’t you be 36 hours?

Recent events (previously alluded to in my last post) have entered me into a Re-prioritizing Zone. I thought I could do everything! Very obviously to everyone but me, I was very wrong. Physical history has been haunting me as of late: injury related to The Bunjee-Cord Accident and subsequent loss of vision/cataract surgery; pregnancy and gaining close to 90 pounds (and duh, a whole other person in the process); dislocating my right shoulder while pregnant (and then re-dislocating it every six weeks thereafter); significant weight loss; chronic insomnia; and recently being diagnosed with TMJD (which has miraculously solved the mystery of my chronic pain). This list is not to get people to show empathy and be all OH POOR YOU – HOW DO YOU GET BY IN LIFE, but writing it down illustrates to ME just how much I have been trying to avoid my reality.

I love running. I started running to lose weight, but came to enjoy it for its other benefits. The only way I could motivate myself in the beginning was to sign up for races. Last year at this time I was in the midst of the long hard training involved 6 weeks before a half-marathon. This year I am supposed to be doing the same thing, but with the return to work, I have found my free time has been reduced from Very Little to A Lot Less Than That. 20K runs on Sundays and the requisite time for recovery don’t fit in very well. Also, I want to spend time with my daughter when I get the time to do so.

I made the decision yesterday to not train for the half-marathon. It was not easy. But, making that decision brought instant relief. Running will now just be my thing to do after work, but there will be no strict regimen – which will be an interesting new side to it – as I have always been pushing myself to some new goal I set for myself. Already, I can see windows of time opening up! And no guilt? Fixing and healing are a priority, my shoulder, my eye and my jaw will be my focus – next year I have guaranteed entry for the NYC marathon and I want to be strong.

E and I are hanging out this morning and heading off to the market – without lists and things to do, but rather just to enjoy one of the few sunny Saturdays we’ve had this summer. It’s going to be nice, calm even. I might even pick up that potted Jasmine plant I have been ogling all summer.

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Responses

  1. YAY for making decisions! i know it must’ve been hard, but heck- anything to give you less anxiety, right? hugs


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