Posted by: ableanna | April 8, 2009

A lame update

So this whole working thing leaves me completely shattered and brainless by the time we have E down at night. It’s the waking up at 5:45 and being in complete and total “GO” mode from that moment forward. This is a completely different kind of exhaustion from the type that leaves you brainless from being at home with your child all day DESPERATE for outside communication. Oddly, it’s all in the reverse – I’m communicating all day at work. And I up my level of communication with E when I am with her, because I am so desperate to make all moments quality moments now. That she knows that Mummy is thinking about her all day and that she knows that Mummy loves her and misses her and wants to be a part of her life that she misses when she’s at work. It’s a different kind of juggling act, a different type of guilt (like, I feel guilty for enjoying that time that I have to complete work, to think about tasks in a logical and complete way, to be able to sit in silence for long periods of time without interruption), a different type of life that I have suddenly found myself immersed in at full throttle.

But I want to do it all. And I think I can do it all? I think I can. I’m still training for my races. I am still making efforts to stay in touch with friends. I’m still making sure meals are healthy and home cooked. I’m still making sure the laundry is done, the bills are paid, the lunches are made, the house stays clean, etc. etc.

But by 8 p.m. its zero brain power – I can’t tell you how hard it is to even write this!

Anyway, this is completely off-topic but I just read Dooce’s post on The Vaccination Debate and I think every parent should read it, regardless of where you stand. It’s an articulate, thought-provoking stance on the issues involved and covers a lot of my own inner conflict that I had when I finally made the decision to vaccinate E. (An incredibly tough decision when you sit on the fence and feel like neither side presents ALL the facts.)

That is all – better posts to follow after the holidays.



  1. If anyone can do it all, it most certainly is you!! You’re an inspiration for E. and for all ladies…(Woot)!

  2. It does get easier and yes, you can do it all.
    “Except when you don’t, because sometimes you wont… You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And NEVER mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)” -Dr. Seuss

  3. thanks you two – LOVE that Dr.Suess quote. What book is that from?

  4. ‘Oh the places you’ll go.’

    A must for your library.

  5. Hi Annabelle, this is your mother speaking..heh he heh and now that you’re too busy to call me I have to check in by looking at your blog, which is always enlightening.
    I guess I’m one of those mothers who chose not to vaccinate (Eammon) –that’s one out of three, because he went into convulsions with the DPT. (hmmm,Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book) But I didn’t see the answer to this question… if children are vaccinated, how can they pick up a disease from a non-vaccinated child? Isn’t that what they are vaccinated against?
    Perhaps if longer, less-pressured schedule for vaccination was allowable, I wouldn’t feel so strongly that there’s no support for ANY alternatives and that there should be, whereas I think there should be ongoing investigations into childhood illnesses and their treatment that goes BEYOND simple hit and run vaccination.. But you know all this. It’s just that once the medical system fails you, and especially near-kills your child, you just never trust it again.
    love you,
    Guilty Mother
    and P.S you had all the vaccinations and still had to get re-vaccinated in high school, because what they said would work when you were kids, didn’t.

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