Posted by: ableanna | December 1, 2008

Early lessons in coffee

Sam Taylor-Wood, Self-Portrait "Suspended"

Sam Taylor-Wood, Self-Portrait

For more details about Sam Taylor-Wood, click here.

As I noted in my last post, my body has been attempting to sabotage my life recently, with the hip pain, flu, sinusitis (which has also made half of my face raw from all the nose-blowing going on round here) and tooth decay (with subsequent wisdom tooth removal). I have been trying not to whine, trying to laugh it all off, trying to take it all in stride and get on with my day. And then, Saturday night, after a great party at home with both of our families together, I pull the blanket towards me as I am getting into bed adnd my shoulder re-dislocates. Again.

I was Misery, yesterday. I got into a fight with my parents over the phone. I cried in front of my daughter. I sobbed a little and made loud sighing noises. I couldn’t smile about anything. I was done with the whole Brave Face thing. Forget it. You guys are all going to know just how much my life has been sucking these days, how much I hate doing things for you while I am in constant pain EVERYWHERE. All I want to do is lie down in bed and never do anything ever again. In fact, I think I might start ingesting 33,000 calories a day or take up heroin, because WHAT IS THE POINT?

Anyway. I feel much better today. I do feel like I might heal someday soon and perhaps then, might get back to running again.

At breakfast, my daughter became witness to my moment of self-pity, as I kindof sniffled and wimpered and wiped away tears as she ate her oatmeal. Here’s the conversation that ensued:

Ella: “Oh Mummy, you upset?”

Me: “Yes, but only just a little. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

Ella: “You drink coffee, and you be okay” as she nods her head self-knowingly.

She knows me so well.

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