Posted by: ableanna | October 9, 2008

Really Bad Date Suggestions

I decided to organize a surprise date for D and take him to the local Six Flags amusement park.

Turns out he HATES rollercoasters.

Not hates in the “Holy. Shit. I thought I was going to DIE. Let’s do that SIX MORE times!!!” kind of way. No, more like: A small part of my soul just died and now I’m going to be an Oliver Sacks story entitled “The man who walked in the fetal position and spoke in zigzags” or “Rollercoaster Reborn-agains” or some such neurological wonder of the world.

Exhibit A:

Goliath Rollercoaster Ride

Goliath Rollercoaster Ride

Okay, once you can see past the fact that I really need to buy a scanner, I’m in the front row on at the very left-hand side in the white jacket… If you can’t tell what I’m doing, my face reads complete and utter joy, exhilaration and relief…basically I’m peeing my pants I’m so thrilled. D, on the other had (pictured right beside me) has entered a meditative-state akin to those who have suffered the Spanish Inquisition.

I can not tell you how hard I laughed after I saw this image on the screen. It was almost better than the adrenaline rush that you get from The Goliath (the biggest roller-coaster in Canada). And I think about half an hour after that, a seagull pooped directly on D’s arm. A really big white and brown bird shit. HIGH. LARIOUS. He chased me through the park as I tried not to vomit from laughing so hard at him. SURPRISE DATE HONEY!

D has now issued threats of taking me to a Beekeeping Farm for my “Surprise Date”. I think it would be kind of interesting to go do things you absolutely loathe on your dates with your significant other…

Dates for D:
1. Pickling cucumbers at local cucumber farm
2. International salad sampling festival
3. A kitty-cat petting zoo
4. IKEA

Dates for me:
1. A trip to the Apiary
2. Maggot harvest
3. “Disorganizing your life” Summit with special speaker C.H.Aotic on getting rid of to-do lists
4. Breakfast at the Decaffeinated Cafe

What would be your worst dates?

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