Posted by: ableanna | June 7, 2008

All Lies

Richard Billingham Photography

Turns out motherhood has turned me into a pathological liar.

Yesterday over at the Evil Cafe I was sharing my woes regarding the decoration of my new home. I was all “Pffft. Whatever. Decorating!? I have decided I have NO TASTE. If I could I would hire someone else to do that.” and my friend was all “Really? You? I thought what with your arts background and interest in all things creative that you would ENJOY that process?” and I replied “Nope. Not. At. All.”

ALL LIES TOLD BY ME.

Then at the Salvation Army I got into a funk, because my oh-so-funky interior-designery friend managed to sift through the shit to find the funky stuff. Meanwhile I internally grumbled over my lack of insight to see past anything but the chipped beer mugs and tin-foil frying pans. And again, LYING, I said something to the effect of “I think I *see* how it could work, but then I just see a broken lamp. And I just can’t deal with it right now.”

This same friend is also always saying “Hey there’s this neat photographer here and you should check out this person’s work and maybe you should try your hand at this” and I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears and shouting “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!”

Am I that done? Has my creative self-esteem dropped so low that I might as well pull out the polyester teddy-bear sweatshirt with golf-visor ensemble and call it a day? Am I doomed to become a bitter critic of everything because I can’t get my shit together? Why is my confidence so shot? Why have I limited my options to Create Genius Masterpiece or… Watch Reality TV?!?! WHY???

I REALLY have to get over myself. Also, having a room of my own would be sweet.

PS> The photo is by Richard Billingham. The image is from the series “Ray’s a Laugh”, which documents his old ailing alcoholic father, shot on nothing special film with a nothing special camera and printed at a local shop. Proving that the creative, especially in photography, is not bound to perfection and the latest technology.

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Responses

  1. Uummm…. so I guess I should just shut it right?


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